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Everyone else involved seems to have already posted their opinions on the fight that took place in my room Sunday night, so I might as well throw my two cents in as well. I go with Lauderdale, on this one--the other party was, if not clearly in the wrong, at least blatantly insensitive to her feelings. It should have been obvious that Lauderdale was being upset by her arguements, and that should have been the cue to change the subject (I tried to change it for her, and it didn't work). She (the other party) still refuses to understand what she did wrong--I almost got into a fight with her Monday, attempting to make her see Lauderdale's point of view. She is so used to being the victim that she can't seem to grasp the fact that sometimes other people can be hurt by her actions--or that just because other people don't always tiptoe on eggshells around her feelings, that doesn't give her the right to trample on theirs. (I'm so irked in retrospect that my grammar is deteriorating).
Anyway. To explain the problem: If you state that you believe a certain thing to be impossible (say love at first sight, the existence of God, eating disorders, whatever) and someone else argues with you that it does exist, offering as proof their own personal experiences--"I know it happens 'cause it happened to me"--then does not your continued insistance that it cannot exist imply that you feel that the other person's experiences have no validity? If it is "impossible," than it can't have happened to them, so their claim that it did is obviously (in your eyes) wrong. And if they believe very strongly that whatever it is is possible, and if their experiences involving it are very important to them, then you will hurt their feelings. So you should respect that. And shut up. Except that a certain person who shall remain nameless would not. And views any suggestion that she should have as an infringement of her right to express her beliefs. Yo, express them all you want, but not when they hurt other people.
Thank God I had to leave to go to church, and thus had to kick the two of them out of my room. I think it might have gone farther than simply the use of cuss words on Lauderdale's part, otherwise.
*re-reads what she has written* That's a damn long rant. Going all day without speaking (National Day of Silence, in support of GLTB rights) was Hell. It is far easier to keep silent about my sexual preferences than it is to withhold my opinion in History class. And speaking of history, I must now leave to work on my paper on the build up of German air power prior to the second world war. I really should have begun doing so much earlier.
Anyway. To explain the problem: If you state that you believe a certain thing to be impossible (say love at first sight, the existence of God, eating disorders, whatever) and someone else argues with you that it does exist, offering as proof their own personal experiences--"I know it happens 'cause it happened to me"--then does not your continued insistance that it cannot exist imply that you feel that the other person's experiences have no validity? If it is "impossible," than it can't have happened to them, so their claim that it did is obviously (in your eyes) wrong. And if they believe very strongly that whatever it is is possible, and if their experiences involving it are very important to them, then you will hurt their feelings. So you should respect that. And shut up. Except that a certain person who shall remain nameless would not. And views any suggestion that she should have as an infringement of her right to express her beliefs. Yo, express them all you want, but not when they hurt other people.
Thank God I had to leave to go to church, and thus had to kick the two of them out of my room. I think it might have gone farther than simply the use of cuss words on Lauderdale's part, otherwise.
*re-reads what she has written* That's a damn long rant. Going all day without speaking (National Day of Silence, in support of GLTB rights) was Hell. It is far easier to keep silent about my sexual preferences than it is to withhold my opinion in History class. And speaking of history, I must now leave to work on my paper on the build up of German air power prior to the second world war. I really should have begun doing so much earlier.
From:
but
who has ever respected my feelings?
From:
Re: but
This post wasn't intended to hurt your feelings (note the use of "the other party" instead of a name), just as a rant on my part to get out my own frustrations. Had it been intended as an insult/slam, there would have been names. And perjorative nicknames. And cuss words. Trust me, when I'm being intentionally insulting, it's usually obvious.