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Whoohoo! We caught the bastard! *does the dance of jingoistic glee*
Of course, now that we've caught him, we have to figure out what to do with him. And ask ourselves if getting rid of the sonuvabitch was/is really worth the destruction we've visited on the people of Iraq and the American lives lost there.
And in an attempt tp give this post actual fandom content, here's me glomming onto a character meme that made the rounds of the Buffy and OUaTiM fandoms earlier.
My Jack…
…Claims he wears kohl to protect his eyes from glare, but really just likes the way it looks.
…Loves shiny things, the flashier the better. Gold is, of course, the ultimate shiny thing.
…Can go aloft half dead with scurvy in a frozen gale, reef sail hung-over, and set a straight course even when blind drunk. He knows this because he’s done all three.
…Nearly died of yellow fever when he was seventeen.
…Has a compass rose tattooed on his arm, so that he can always find his way.
…Has trouble falling asleep on dry land, or any other surface that isn't moving.
…Loves his ship with a devotion that borders on obsessive.
…And is jealously protective of her, and tends to hover when anyone else has the helm.
…Has sailed all the way around the world, but swears he will never, ever do it again, because he will throw himself overboard before subjecting himself to the weather off Cape Horn a second time.
…Has been to Canton and Calcutta, but has never been to England.
…Is more widely educated than he lets on.
…Doesn't actually like apples, and only ate them that one time to piss off Barbossa.
…But can do things with a banana that are positively obscene.
…Speaks both Portuguese and French—extremely badly.
…Generally prefers women to men, but has been known to make an exception.
…Has no taste in alcohol whatsoever. He'll drink cheap wine, expensive champagne, fine whisky, or rum so bad it brings tear to your eyes, and never notice the difference. In fact, he'll probably think the hideously bad rum is the best of the lot, because it's the strongest.
…Was once given a dozen lashes by a former captain for being drunk on duty.
…Was orphaned during an earthquake (Port Royal, 1692—look it up) as a child, and can’t remember anything that happened to him before that.
…Has no idea who his parents were, or what his real last name is—or even if he had one. He made the name ‘Sparrow’ up.
…But I know that his mother (whom he doesn't remember) was a whore in Port Royal, and half Portuguese. And that he got his hair and his eyes from her.
…Has never slept with Anamaria, and is afraid to even ask—but fantasises about it sometimes.
…Learned how to fence from Barbossa, and loves a good swordfight with all the enthusiasm of a born adrenaline junkie.
…Is surprisingly literate when it comes to both books and maps, but couldn’t write legibly to save his life. And has extremely… creative spelling.
…But keeps a log book anyway.
…And is very good at drawing charts.
…Used to look up to Barbossa in a way that was just short of hero worship, which made it all the more painful when he betrayed him.
…Has never killed a man in cold blood—except Barbossa.
…But has killed more than his fair share of enemies in boarding actions and the like.
...But is actually slightly squicked by large amounts of blood and/or catastrophic injuries--at least, when they happen to him or his crew. Non-crew related people (who aren't Lizzie or Will) can go hang.
…Isn't sure whether he's in love with Elizabeth and Will or not—but cares about them and is definitely in lust with them both.
…Believes in his own legend, or at least, does his utmost to promote it.
Of course, now that we've caught him, we have to figure out what to do with him. And ask ourselves if getting rid of the sonuvabitch was/is really worth the destruction we've visited on the people of Iraq and the American lives lost there.
And in an attempt tp give this post actual fandom content, here's me glomming onto a character meme that made the rounds of the Buffy and OUaTiM fandoms earlier.
My Jack…
…Claims he wears kohl to protect his eyes from glare, but really just likes the way it looks.
…Loves shiny things, the flashier the better. Gold is, of course, the ultimate shiny thing.
…Can go aloft half dead with scurvy in a frozen gale, reef sail hung-over, and set a straight course even when blind drunk. He knows this because he’s done all three.
…Nearly died of yellow fever when he was seventeen.
…Has a compass rose tattooed on his arm, so that he can always find his way.
…Has trouble falling asleep on dry land, or any other surface that isn't moving.
…Loves his ship with a devotion that borders on obsessive.
…And is jealously protective of her, and tends to hover when anyone else has the helm.
…Has sailed all the way around the world, but swears he will never, ever do it again, because he will throw himself overboard before subjecting himself to the weather off Cape Horn a second time.
…Has been to Canton and Calcutta, but has never been to England.
…Is more widely educated than he lets on.
…Doesn't actually like apples, and only ate them that one time to piss off Barbossa.
…But can do things with a banana that are positively obscene.
…Speaks both Portuguese and French—extremely badly.
…Generally prefers women to men, but has been known to make an exception.
…Has no taste in alcohol whatsoever. He'll drink cheap wine, expensive champagne, fine whisky, or rum so bad it brings tear to your eyes, and never notice the difference. In fact, he'll probably think the hideously bad rum is the best of the lot, because it's the strongest.
…Was once given a dozen lashes by a former captain for being drunk on duty.
…Was orphaned during an earthquake (Port Royal, 1692—look it up) as a child, and can’t remember anything that happened to him before that.
…Has no idea who his parents were, or what his real last name is—or even if he had one. He made the name ‘Sparrow’ up.
…But I know that his mother (whom he doesn't remember) was a whore in Port Royal, and half Portuguese. And that he got his hair and his eyes from her.
…Has never slept with Anamaria, and is afraid to even ask—but fantasises about it sometimes.
…Learned how to fence from Barbossa, and loves a good swordfight with all the enthusiasm of a born adrenaline junkie.
…Is surprisingly literate when it comes to both books and maps, but couldn’t write legibly to save his life. And has extremely… creative spelling.
…But keeps a log book anyway.
…And is very good at drawing charts.
…Used to look up to Barbossa in a way that was just short of hero worship, which made it all the more painful when he betrayed him.
…Has never killed a man in cold blood—except Barbossa.
…But has killed more than his fair share of enemies in boarding actions and the like.
...But is actually slightly squicked by large amounts of blood and/or catastrophic injuries--at least, when they happen to him or his crew. Non-crew related people (who aren't Lizzie or Will) can go hang.
…Isn't sure whether he's in love with Elizabeth and Will or not—but cares about them and is definitely in lust with them both.
…Believes in his own legend, or at least, does his utmost to promote it.
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I'm just sayin. . .
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Hee, very Jack
…Has trouble falling asleep on dry land, or any other surface that isn't moving.
::laughing:: Beautiful. I, personally, have never gotten sea-sick. However, when I get back on land, even after the smallest time on the water, I do get extremely nauseous. Hmm, there's nothing like sleeping to the rocking of a ship on the water.
…Has been to Canton and Calcutta, but has never been to England.
I love this.
…Was orphaned during an earthquake (Port Royal, 1692—look it up) as a child, and can’t remember anything that happened to him before that.
This has become canon in my mind. It would explain so much about him.
I love your Jack.
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I can sympathise. I don't get motion-sick (or, um, stillness-sick) but my balance vanishes totally. Taking the ferry across Galway Bay in bad weather was fun. Walking across the pier to the bus was not. I complete blew all cool points I'd accumulated by not losing my balance onboard the boat by tripping over my own feet about twelve times when the ground insisted on lurching up and down.
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completely off topic, but...
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