Okay, a classmate of mine has just submitted the most entertaining paper it's ever been my pleasure to discuss. Did y'all know that Sir Walter Raleigh's "The Discovery of the Empire of Guiana" contains lesbian undertones? Just read it. The subtext starts with the line "Guiana is a country that hath yet her maidenhead," and goes downhill from there to include ""it hath never been entered," "[it] hath but one entrance," and "whosoever shall first possess it." And there's more, but I'm tired of quoting Raleigh. Anyway, he's basically depicting Guiana as this virgin to be raped and despoiled, and he's writting this to *fanfare* Queen Elizabeth. Yep, and there's the lesbian action for you. There's also the whole virgin land/virgin queen thing--with the added possible subtext that Queen Elizabeth was really a virgin in name only (and Raleigh might even have been one of her lovers)--he's offering her true virginity, as opposed to her own false virginity. After enough discussion of this sort, it becomes impossible to avoid visions of PimpMaster!Raleigh offering new conquests to his Mistress. Hey, he's got the earing and that bling bling gold-embroidered doublet.
English Majors are evil.
English Majors are evil.