Chastine? You're kidding me, right?

[elspethdixon]

Why does comics-based Hellblazer fanfic essentially not exist? I mean, the movie Constantine was actually much, much better than I expected an adaptation of Hellblazer starring Keanu Reeves to be, as long as I kept reminding myself that the lead character was some distant American relative of the real John Constantine, probably descended from some Constantine ancestor who got kicked out of England a couple centuries ago, and not actually John. However, it gets all of what little fic there is, and since the comic is cooler by a factor of ten, this makes me sad.

Also, every time you write movie-based John/Chas fic and refer to the pairing as "Chastine," the real John Constantine sacrifices a kitten to Satan. I'm not even going to touch the fact that movie!Chas is some teenage kid rather than the adult London cabbie we (and especially John) know and love (although fans' love for Chas is undoubtably less pathetic and lame than John's canonical [edit: or maybe semi-canonical, since I can't remmeber what issue it is] doomed thing for him), making the pairing creepy. I can't get past the part where people call it "Chastine."

Seriously. John Constantine would beat you bloody with your keyboard for using such a stupid pairing name to refer to him and his best mate.

I did manage to find one awesome SPN cross over with John/Dean, though.

Comments

[mayatawi.livejournal.com]

Dude, when is John's thing for Chas made canonical? Too much canon, not enough brainspace. :(

[elspethdixon.livejournal.com]

There's a storyline somewhere (I can't remember the issue, or if it was part of a stand-alone) where a demon makes Chas able to feel what John is feeling. Chas's reaction is kind of a combination of "Wow, you're even more fucked up than I thought," and "0.o you feel like *that* about me?" Then they essentially agree to never speak of it again.

[mayatawi.livejournal.com]

Oh wait, I think I actually remember that one! Was it the Empathy is the Enemy storyline?

And ahahaha, John.

[crimsonquills.livejournal.com]

Some pairing names just make you want to spork your eyes out. My personal favorite (er, not-favorite? *g*) is still "Gibozzo" for Gibbs/DiNozzo. (Also, you know you've out of NCIS fandom a long time when you have to google to make sure you spelled DiNozzo's name right...)

There are many horrors out there, but just the fact that "Gibozzo" sounds mostly like "bozo"gets me every time.

[ani-bester.livejournal.com]

are their Gibbs/Tobias fics?

[crimsonquills.livejournal.com]

There are! I know there are, though I haven't read any myself. I believe they're generally listed as Gibbs/Fornell, though.

[elspethdixon.livejournal.com]

Gibozzo? That's stupid enough to be a Smallville pairing name (some names were never meant to be smooshed together. "Bruce" and "Lois" are two of those names).

[crimsonquills.livejournal.com]

I was trying to imagine the smooshes for Bruce and Lois and kept laughing out loud. *grins*

[ani-bester.livejournal.com]

Also, every time you write movie-based John/Chas fic and refer to the pairing as "Chastine," the real John Constantine sacrifices a kitten to Satan.

*dies* Thank you for the belly laugh!

As to why no Comic Hellblazer fic mmmmmmm
Ummmmm *shrugs* Maybe the specific Englishness of it all? I wouldn't be comfortable writing comic John because I don't know that much about about England, and lord all mighty, that man has some slang on him, let alone places people and things.

but again, not sure.
It may just be me. I have left over scares about how well English fans handled Americans writing fics in which Harry dared to call a flat an apartment so I kinda shy away from writing things heavily steeped in British culture. ^^;

That's the big difference I can think of. Comics are heavy on knowing your way around England, movie not so much.

In which I am opinionated

[dorothy1901]

Why does comics-based Hellblazer fanfic essentially not exist?

Pure speculation here, but maybe it's because Hellblazer fans are satisfied with what's in the comic, and don't feel the need to "fix" things.

John Constantine would beat you bloody with your keyboard for using such a stupid pairing name to refer to him and his best mate.

I should hope so. Pairing names in general are bad-wrong-bad, IMO, and that particular one is pathetic. I want a virgule in my slash, dammit.

I mean, the movie Constantine was actually much, much better than I expected an adaptation of Hellblazer starring Keanu Reeves to be

Agreed. Also, have you seen the DVD extras? There's an alternate ending which, to me, is much more satisfying that the one in the theatrical release. The theatrical release pretty much 'forgot' about Chas once he was killed; there was no expression of loss or regret or anything like that on Constantine's part. The alternate ending has a final encounter between Chas and John.

Re: In which I am opinionated

[elspethdixon.livejournal.com]

I don't so much want to see someone "fix" anything as I do want to read casefile-style fic and hot John/anyone pr0n -- the sort of "canon is awesome; now I want more stuff just like it, but with sex in" reaction.

I've actually never seen the DVD at all -- I only saw it in the theaters, where I was amazed to find that the movie I'd gone to basically for the purpose of mocking it was actually pretty good.

Re: In which I am opinionated

[velithya]

If you're speaking of the part where John is at the graveyard, that was in the theatrical release, just right at the end of the credits.

Re: In which I am opinionated

[elspethdixon.livejournal.com]

At that point, the group I'd gone to see the movie with had already left the theater, all of us saying things like "Oh my God, it was actually good. I mean actually really good despite being nothing whatsoever like the comic," to each other.

Re: In which I am opinionated

[velithya]

I can tell you what happened to the best of my recollection, if you like.

[lilacsigil.livejournal.com]

Outside yuletide, Hellblazer fic is sadly sparse.

[st-aurafina.livejournal.com]

I love it. I've written it, but only short stuff and one epic Yuletide fic. kindkit has written some too. copperbadge had a Harry Potter/Hellblazer crossover going at one time, but I don't think he finished it.

I don't know why there's not more - it's the perfect crossover fandom, for one thing.

[elspethdixon.livejournal.com]

You're the one who did Silk Cut Souvenir! The lump of flesh that used to be the communion Host was awesomely disgusting enough to be straight from the comic. That one and "Suffer the Children" on ff.net are two of my favorites ^_^.

[st-aurafina.livejournal.com]

Yay! (That flesh is real. They really have a slice of someone's heart preserved in a jar in a church in Tuscany.)

Ooh, I haven't dared to venture into ff.net for Hellblazer fic - not the first place I'd think of to look. I will check that out tomorrow at work, thanks for the tip.

[lavanyasix.livejournal.com]

The only comicverse Hellblazer fanfic I know of is a crossover. With Sailor Moon.

And it is AWESOME.

http://www.thekeep.org/~rpm/vertigo/sailor-hellblazer/

Quote: "In the name of love... fuck off."

[elspethdixon.livejournal.com]

Sailor Hellblazer! I remember finding that one years ago, in my first scouring of the web in search of Constantine fic. It's on my list of "crossovers that should never, ever work but are awesome anyway," along with When Hellmouths Collide.

[velithya]

*stalks post for recs*

Hellblazer is one of those comics I really should be reading (read: catch up on past TPs), I've been recced it many times by my f.list and before the movie came out I bought the trade my local comic store recommended would be the best one to get an idea of the series so I could get all familiar with it (just in time to be irritated that movie!John wasn't blonde and British and at what they'd done to Chas, but not irritated enough not to enjoy it OMG GABRIEL, etc).

*does the 'I hate mushed pairing names' dance* seriously people. seriously. What is wrong with calling it John/Chas? (trufax: my fiance's name is Chas, and everything someone talks about Hellblazer I have a momentary 'what?' twitch.)

I CANNOT READ THE WORDS 'JOHN/DEAN' WITHOUT FLINCHING IN MY BRAIN AUGH NO. Speaking of SPN, I am not caught up on season four at all really but I heard that Castiel with his trenchcoat and loose tie and all was meant to look a little like Constantine. I went looking for fic around the time the movie came out and I don't really remember finding anything decent. I did read an SPN fic (?by poisontaster? maybe?) where Sam gets kidnapped by a demon and when Dean comes to break him out he's got help from (I think) both Constantines (comic and movie-verse). It was pretty cool but it was more a brief cameo rather than anything plot-relevant.

[elspethdixon.livejournal.com]

IT IS A DIFFERENT JOHN WHO, WHILE HE'S THE SAME AGE AS JOHN WINCHESTER, IS NOT RELATED TO DEAN IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM.

Because, yeah, the pairing label sounds all kinds of wrong. The sex is hot, though. And it's kind of fun to watch Dean and JOhn (Constantine) try to one-up each other, a game which Dean is, alas, doomed to lose. Age and (sexy) treachery will defeat youth and beauty any time.

[velithya]

OKAY, JUST AS LONG AS WE'RE CLEAR ON THAT.

Personally I would probably mark that Constantine/Dean rather than 'John' I imagine. Ha, of course the sex is hot! Yeah, Constantine is pretty well versed in treachery, I don't think Dean has a chance - but you know, not that he'll admit it out loud, but after everything's said and done I don't think he minded that much ;)

*knocks on the door*

[branchandroot]

Hey. My Id-candy post, on which you commented, was eaten by my WP crossposter today. May I re-create your comment on the repost, from my email copies?

Re: *knocks on the door*

[elspethdixon.livejournal.com]

Sure!