I decided some weeks ago that I needed to erect a small-yet-tasteful shrine to Salvador Larroca in the corner of my room, and give thanks before it every time a new issue of X-men came out (“Thank you, oh Mister Larroca, for once again contriving to draw Gambit shirtless. Thank you for Rogue, for Polaris’s hair, for Mystique, and for Emma Frost’s costume or, rather, near-total lack there-of. Thank you for randomly making Gambit look like a drow, and for suddenly giving him anime-bishounen hair down to his butt for no logical reason. Verily, you continue to bring the mutant crack to the yard.”).

It has now become evident that I must add to my list of thanksgivings the most important reason of all: “Thank you for not being Frank Quitely.”

Dear God, why did DC and/or Wildstorm let the man draw so many issues of The Authority? Or anything else? He flat-out can’t draw the human form. Backgrounds, yeah, mechanical stuff, sure, but all his people are badly proportioned and distorted-looking. I literally find looking at things he’s drawn painful, to the point that I find my eyes skipping over the people and focusing only on the speech bubbles. And I’ve got years of comic book reading under my belt, as well as vivid memories of the early nineties, when Rob Liefeld drew for Marvel and made every character a freakishly muscle-bound body-builder with extraneous belt pouches. I never thought I’d be nostalgic for his art style, but at least he gave everybody distinctive facial features. Too bad Jim Lee left Wildstorm instead of sticking around to draw those issues instead. We could have had bright, bright colors and out-of-control hair that blew in the wind in a dynamic way. And swoopy speed-lines every time people flew.

The metaphorical ‘corner of my room’ is going to get damned crowded, as I’m going to have to add small-yet-tasteful shrines to Warren Ellis and to the writers of the Justice League cartoon beside my miniature alters to Neill Gaimon and Barbara Hambly. Perhaps I can just hang some icons.

Starting with one of Jenny Sparks.
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