So, this is long-overdue feedback for Gunslinger. Why is it so long overdue? Because I wanted to take the time to do it in depth. :-) Here we go...
Right from the beginning, I love the atmosphere of the story. The rhythms of speech are different and the slang is different, in particular, which just plunges you right into the time period. Too often I find myself squinting and overlooking modern language in period stories. (There's a reason I avoid writing period myself; I don't feel confident I can get the language down right.)
And then we get Wyatt's first inkling of Doc--gossip. *grins* I love the gossip. Doc has a reputation, oh yes.
Once they actually meet--banter! *bounces happily* I knew what I read this "I could make myself irritating. I hear you’ve killed lots of men, or maybe just one man in a lot of places." that I was not going to be disappointed in the slightest. *g*
Wyatt's blindness to Doc's illness, right from the start, is a little heart-wrenching. I suppose it just didn't occur to him at first that is might be serious, but after that you can just tell he just can't even let himself think of the possibility.
And the more I read of your Doc, the more I love him. He's perfectly in character! In the movie he has this weird charisma, and it totally comes through in the story. I love this little speech...
“From the first day you met, you’ve know that all you want is to spend the rest of your life at her side. She’s everything pure and noble that you will never be, and when she smiles at you it makes you feel like you’re worth something after all. And when she’s standing next to you, it’s easier to breathe.”
...and his chagrin at having made it later. *g*
You absolutely capture the energy of Wyatt and Doc's relationship, including Doc's greater awareness of the intensity of it. Like this moment:
He had moved his hand to Holliday’s head, and was absent-mindedly stroking the other man’s hair. Holliday looked eerily content with this turn of events. Wyatt, almost as eerily, didn’t even seem to realize he was doing it.
I would wish for more of this story, except I don't want to distract you from the Steve/Tony. *g*
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Gunslinger feedback
Date: 2007-12-20 04:17 am (UTC)Right from the beginning, I love the atmosphere of the story. The rhythms of speech are different and the slang is different, in particular, which just plunges you right into the time period. Too often I find myself squinting and overlooking modern language in period stories. (There's a reason I avoid writing period myself; I don't feel confident I can get the language down right.)
And then we get Wyatt's first inkling of Doc--gossip. *grins* I love the gossip. Doc has a reputation, oh yes.
Once they actually meet--banter! *bounces happily* I knew what I read this "I could make myself irritating. I hear you’ve killed lots of men, or maybe just one man in a lot of places." that I was not going to be disappointed in the slightest. *g*
Wyatt's blindness to Doc's illness, right from the start, is a little heart-wrenching. I suppose it just didn't occur to him at first that is might be serious, but after that you can just tell he just can't even let himself think of the possibility.
And the more I read of your Doc, the more I love him. He's perfectly in character! In the movie he has this weird charisma, and it totally comes through in the story. I love this little speech...
“From the first day you met, you’ve know that all you want is to spend the rest of your life at her side. She’s everything pure and noble that you will never be, and when she smiles at you it makes you feel like you’re worth something after all. And when she’s standing next to you, it’s easier to breathe.”
...and his chagrin at having made it later. *g*
You absolutely capture the energy of Wyatt and Doc's relationship, including Doc's greater awareness of the intensity of it. Like this moment:
He had moved his hand to Holliday’s head, and was absent-mindedly stroking the other man’s hair. Holliday looked eerily content with this turn of events. Wyatt, almost as eerily, didn’t even seem to realize he was doing it.
I would wish for more of this story, except I don't want to distract you from the Steve/Tony. *g*