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No Pity. No Shame. No Silence.
It's truly frightening and sad to see the number and variety of people who have come forward about this--and inspiring to see the amount of courage everyone is demonstrating. All of those posts have driven it in to me how lucky I am that no similar experience has ever happened to me--because it can and does happen to anyone.
As a student at an all women's college I'm in a fairly sheltered and safe environment, but even among my fellow sheltered students there are girls I know who have been abused or harassed in the past--by relatives, by ex-boyfriends or girlfriends, by some drunk guy at Hampton Sidney convinced that a Hollins girl who shows up at his friend's party is only after one thing. And most of them never talk about it, unless it's in a poem for creative writing class that they can pass off as a persona poem if they have to. Unless it's the middle of a writing workshop, a women's studies class, or a Take Back the Night rally, no one ever talks about it.
Part of it, I suppose, might be a reluctance to walk around feeling as if you are wearing an invisible badge that says "victim," to avoid having people look at you differently, treat you differently, pity you or judge you. Because there is still, even today, a tendency to assume that a woman (and especially a man) who has been assaulted somehow deserved it. That if she had only dressed differently, not gone to that party, not had that drink, not dated that guy, nothing would have happened. That if he had really wanted to stop things, he could have fought his attacker off. God knows I don't tell many people that I once had an eating disorder, and that's something that has far less shame and secrecy attached to it than sexual assault.
My aunt, who is a prosecuting attorney, specialises in domestic abuse and child abuse cases, and sees dozens of situations similar to the ones people are coming forward about every year--and in many of them, the victims refuse to press charges, don't come forward until a friend or neighbour brings the case to the polices' attention.
I'm proud of all of the people who have come forward to talk about it, to share their experiences and let other people know that they are not alone, because even though it may be easier to share things online than it is in person, I don't know that I'd have that much courage.
It's truly frightening and sad to see the number and variety of people who have come forward about this--and inspiring to see the amount of courage everyone is demonstrating. All of those posts have driven it in to me how lucky I am that no similar experience has ever happened to me--because it can and does happen to anyone.
As a student at an all women's college I'm in a fairly sheltered and safe environment, but even among my fellow sheltered students there are girls I know who have been abused or harassed in the past--by relatives, by ex-boyfriends or girlfriends, by some drunk guy at Hampton Sidney convinced that a Hollins girl who shows up at his friend's party is only after one thing. And most of them never talk about it, unless it's in a poem for creative writing class that they can pass off as a persona poem if they have to. Unless it's the middle of a writing workshop, a women's studies class, or a Take Back the Night rally, no one ever talks about it.
Part of it, I suppose, might be a reluctance to walk around feeling as if you are wearing an invisible badge that says "victim," to avoid having people look at you differently, treat you differently, pity you or judge you. Because there is still, even today, a tendency to assume that a woman (and especially a man) who has been assaulted somehow deserved it. That if she had only dressed differently, not gone to that party, not had that drink, not dated that guy, nothing would have happened. That if he had really wanted to stop things, he could have fought his attacker off. God knows I don't tell many people that I once had an eating disorder, and that's something that has far less shame and secrecy attached to it than sexual assault.
My aunt, who is a prosecuting attorney, specialises in domestic abuse and child abuse cases, and sees dozens of situations similar to the ones people are coming forward about every year--and in many of them, the victims refuse to press charges, don't come forward until a friend or neighbour brings the case to the polices' attention.
I'm proud of all of the people who have come forward to talk about it, to share their experiences and let other people know that they are not alone, because even though it may be easier to share things online than it is in person, I don't know that I'd have that much courage.
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And those Hampden-Sydney fuckers are right down the road from Longwood, and you're right, they're exactly like that. They need to be taught a lesson. >:O
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You go to Longwood? *quirks eyebrows* My mother went to Longwood, back when it was still an all women's college. Is your burned rotunda rebuilt yet?
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I feel for you--Hollins just finished their new visual arts building, which they'd been working on for the past year and a half. We had parking spaces blocked off, we had construction machinery at work at eight o' clock in the morning (and throughout the rest of the day, too), we had sawdust and brick dust everywhere... Everyone is real relieved that the workers are finally done.