Signs you've been in fandom too long

Me and Seanchai, discussing our current fic:

Me: "You know this fic is going to have to have more sex scenes in it than everything we've ever written combined?"
Seanchai: *groans* "I know."
Me: "But at least they're all non-con, which should make it easier."
Seanchai: "Oh, thank God I wasn't the only one thinking that."
Me: "Because that way it's just the hurt part of hurt/comfort instead of actual sex, so we don't have to try and make it sexy and it won't be nearly as embarrassing to write, and I'm probably going to go to hell for thinking that."
Seanchai: "No, no, I was thinking the exact same thing. It will be so much easier to write than real sex."

*headdesk* What have you done to me, fandom?