Infinite Prohibition

I have decided that someone out there ought to write a DCU AU set during the 1930s. Mostly, this is an extension of my belief that every fandom needs to have a gangster AU set during Prohibition, but Batman and Superman translate back into, say, 1933 particularly well.

Mostly because they were originally products of the 1930s, which is why Gotham is so packed with gangsters and organised crime, and because the art style of the mid-90s Batman cartoon was so thirties/forties-looking.

Forget Batman Begins and Superman Returns, I want to see Infinite Prohibition. Come on, Bruce Wayne in spats. Tim Drake in a newsboy cap. The Joker and Two-Face with tommy-guns. Lex Luthor riding around in a Roll Royce Silver Ghost, with pinstripe suits and a pimp cane topped with kryptonite (and a side-line in bootlegging? Or is that too declasse for a Luthor?). Clark Kent banging away on an old-school typewriter, covering labor strikes (very sympathetically). The Batmobile with 30s-era lines and a runningboard. Various characters in suspenders.

Nightwing would ride an Indian Scout. Roy Harper would be a bartender in a speakeasy, and drink his own wares (and have a gun in a shoulder holster, because those are sexy). Tim Drake would have started out as a newsboy, or at least have a cover where he masquerades as one. Wayne Industries would have ridden out the stockmarket crash by virtue of not being a publically traded company (Bruce owns all of it), and would still be filthy rich alongside the Carnegies, Rockefellers, and other robber barons (you know great-grandaddy Wayne kicked off the family fortune as an 1860s war profiteer). Ollie Queen, if he appeared, would be a Douglas Fairbanks-esque movie star.

Lionel Luthor would have made a fortune on steel during WWI and been bought out by his son days after the Crash ("My father shot himself in his office two days later. Rumours that his hands lacked the appropriate powder residue are unsubstantiated slander, Ms. Lane, and you can quote that"). LexCorp would own half of Metropolis--steel mills, stockyards, chemical plants--and have a reputation for crushing unionizers with an iron fist. Sometimes literally ("We don't know how that load of steel girders fell on Mr. Jones. Such a tragic accident").

It would be cool, and filled with noirish goodness that might even beat out the Victorian glee of a Marvel-verse Civil War AU.

Link for pixyofthestyx

I discovered Panexa (tm) via wikipedia (strange, the things one ends up looking up when researching for fic one probably won't write), and thought of you. Or rather, of your dermatologist.

Pregnant women, or women who plan to become pregnant, should avoid taking PANEXA or handling broken tablets. Or intact tablets. Women considering some day becoming pregnant, who have ever been pregnant, who have had a pregnant friend or pet, or who have seen other pregnant women, naked or otherwise, should also follow these precautions:Do not handle PANEXA tablets, containers, or related literature. If a PANEXA product nears your field of vision, avert your eyes. Try not to say the word "PANEXA." If you do happen to pronounce the syllables, spit thrice and soak your hands in iodine. If you hear the words spoken, live or via recorded medium, cover your ears and immediately see a specialist to try and staunch the bleeding. Try not to think too hard about PANEXA. In fact, don't ever even think about it at all. Pretend you never heard of PANEXA, and never will. Drop this magazine immediately, and get the hell out of here as fast as you fucking can. Go on, get out of here. You'll thank me.

If you should be aware of a pregnant woman who has handled PANEXA, attempt to warn the peoples of earth of the mind-numbing horror that is about to unfold. Also, drink plenty of liquids.

More information about Panexa here

Also, Jesus fuck, and I thought X-Men was complicated and full of stupid retcons. Clearly, Marvel grovels before the alter of incoherence that is DC canon.

Infinite Prohibition and/or Prohibition Crisis is henceforth officially going to be based on Toonverse, the first two Batman movies (i.e. The good ones), random bits of smallville canon, and other people's Teen Titans fic. Because even the wikipedia entry on Superman-through-the-ages makes my brain to bleed.