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I've figured out why I can't participate in fandom's out-pouring of outrage. In my family, we don't talk about people's deaths.
The discussion of how/why/etc. someone died takes place exactly once, when you get/make the phone call delivering the news. After that, it's never discussed--even at the funeral, you talk about the person's life. When my grandmother died last Thanksgiving, we drank a toast to her at her graveside as if she were still alive. We've never talked about her actual death except in passing, to say things like, "If Sally were still here, she'd say/do such-and-such."
Avoidance and tacit silence is the [insert my last name here] way, because if no one talks about it, it never really happened.
And when I walked into my sister's bedroom to vacuum it (I'm at home this weekend & my parents are expecting guests), and saw my grandmother's folded military-funeral-flag in its glass case on top of Sarah's dresser, I almost lost it. I actually started crying typing this. I think I've also figured out why recent Marvel developments have affected me so badly. My grandmother was in the first class of WAVES. I had more kinds of emotional investment in Steve than I realized.
The discussion of how/why/etc. someone died takes place exactly once, when you get/make the phone call delivering the news. After that, it's never discussed--even at the funeral, you talk about the person's life. When my grandmother died last Thanksgiving, we drank a toast to her at her graveside as if she were still alive. We've never talked about her actual death except in passing, to say things like, "If Sally were still here, she'd say/do such-and-such."
Avoidance and tacit silence is the [insert my last name here] way, because if no one talks about it, it never really happened.
And when I walked into my sister's bedroom to vacuum it (I'm at home this weekend & my parents are expecting guests), and saw my grandmother's folded military-funeral-flag in its glass case on top of Sarah's dresser, I almost lost it. I actually started crying typing this. I think I've also figured out why recent Marvel developments have affected me so badly. My grandmother was in the first class of WAVES. I had more kinds of emotional investment in Steve than I realized.