For a Mary Sue, Honey is really damn cute. Actually, so are Felix and James. I'd try to pick out my favorite bit, but I think that would be an exercise in futility.
There are two little things that stand out to me - there's an extra 's' on millions, and this: She bumped James with one hip in a way that left absolutely know room for doubt and bounced cheerfully into the bedroom, shutting the door firmly behind her.
I'm the last person in the world to be able to comment on sex, but this read nicely to me. Plus, you managed to get nice characterization and angst into the sex, which is impressive.
And the subtle angst running throughout is just absolutely lovely. As is the pun in the title.
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Date: 2006-09-07 07:51 am (UTC)There are two little things that stand out to me - there's an extra 's' on millions, and this: She bumped James with one hip in a way that left absolutely know room for doubt and bounced cheerfully into the bedroom, shutting the door firmly behind her.
I'm the last person in the world to be able to comment on sex, but this read nicely to me. Plus, you managed to get nice characterization and angst into the sex, which is impressive.
And the subtle angst running throughout is just absolutely lovely. As is the pun in the title.