For those on my flist who may need some cheering up...

[elspethdixon]

...and any who are worried about the quality of their own writing. Take heart! At least you're not this author
*points at link*
http://vandonovan.livejournal.com/1088311.html

Worst piece of prose I have ever seen. Ever.

This is worse than the chicken that was not a chicken. Worse than the venom cock (heyo!). Worse than Laurell K. Hamilton's endless descriptions of Merry Gentry's hair (which I actually kind of like. Shut up).

And I quote:
"Her teeth were her only bracelet; she carried them within the red velvet purse of her lips. Her tongue was amber. Her tongue was a ferret, an anenome, a fox caught in the teeth of a tiger."

It goes on like this for two pages.

Her toes are snails, people! Snails with shells made of tears!

Comments

[elspethdixon.livejournal.com]

I started laughing again just transcribing that single sentence for this post. I suspect that fandom may have a new text for who-can-read-the-longest-without-laughing contests at cons.

There's actually a dramatic reading someone did of the entire two pages (as well as one of six pages from the book), which impresses me mightily -- they get all the way through the thing without laughing.

[crimsonquills.livejournal.com]

There's actually a dramatic reading someone did of the entire two pages (as well as one of six pages from the book), which impresses me mightily -- they get all the way through the thing without laughing.

There must have been a lot of practice involved, is all I can say. *g*