Chastine? You're kidding me, right?

[elspethdixon]

Why does comics-based Hellblazer fanfic essentially not exist? I mean, the movie Constantine was actually much, much better than I expected an adaptation of Hellblazer starring Keanu Reeves to be, as long as I kept reminding myself that the lead character was some distant American relative of the real John Constantine, probably descended from some Constantine ancestor who got kicked out of England a couple centuries ago, and not actually John. However, it gets all of what little fic there is, and since the comic is cooler by a factor of ten, this makes me sad.

Also, every time you write movie-based John/Chas fic and refer to the pairing as "Chastine," the real John Constantine sacrifices a kitten to Satan. I'm not even going to touch the fact that movie!Chas is some teenage kid rather than the adult London cabbie we (and especially John) know and love (although fans' love for Chas is undoubtably less pathetic and lame than John's canonical [edit: or maybe semi-canonical, since I can't remmeber what issue it is] doomed thing for him), making the pairing creepy. I can't get past the part where people call it "Chastine."

Seriously. John Constantine would beat you bloody with your keyboard for using such a stupid pairing name to refer to him and his best mate.

I did manage to find one awesome SPN cross over with John/Dean, though.

Comments

[crimsonquills.livejournal.com]

Some pairing names just make you want to spork your eyes out. My personal favorite (er, not-favorite? *g*) is still "Gibozzo" for Gibbs/DiNozzo. (Also, you know you've out of NCIS fandom a long time when you have to google to make sure you spelled DiNozzo's name right...)

There are many horrors out there, but just the fact that "Gibozzo" sounds mostly like "bozo"gets me every time.

[ani-bester.livejournal.com]

are their Gibbs/Tobias fics?

[crimsonquills.livejournal.com]

There are! I know there are, though I haven't read any myself. I believe they're generally listed as Gibbs/Fornell, though.

[elspethdixon.livejournal.com]

Gibozzo? That's stupid enough to be a Smallville pairing name (some names were never meant to be smooshed together. "Bruce" and "Lois" are two of those names).

[crimsonquills.livejournal.com]

I was trying to imagine the smooshes for Bruce and Lois and kept laughing out loud. *grins*