Chastine? You're kidding me, right?

[elspethdixon]

Why does comics-based Hellblazer fanfic essentially not exist? I mean, the movie Constantine was actually much, much better than I expected an adaptation of Hellblazer starring Keanu Reeves to be, as long as I kept reminding myself that the lead character was some distant American relative of the real John Constantine, probably descended from some Constantine ancestor who got kicked out of England a couple centuries ago, and not actually John. However, it gets all of what little fic there is, and since the comic is cooler by a factor of ten, this makes me sad.

Also, every time you write movie-based John/Chas fic and refer to the pairing as "Chastine," the real John Constantine sacrifices a kitten to Satan. I'm not even going to touch the fact that movie!Chas is some teenage kid rather than the adult London cabbie we (and especially John) know and love (although fans' love for Chas is undoubtably less pathetic and lame than John's canonical [edit: or maybe semi-canonical, since I can't remmeber what issue it is] doomed thing for him), making the pairing creepy. I can't get past the part where people call it "Chastine."

Seriously. John Constantine would beat you bloody with your keyboard for using such a stupid pairing name to refer to him and his best mate.

I did manage to find one awesome SPN cross over with John/Dean, though.

Comments

In which I am opinionated

[dorothy1901]

Why does comics-based Hellblazer fanfic essentially not exist?

Pure speculation here, but maybe it's because Hellblazer fans are satisfied with what's in the comic, and don't feel the need to "fix" things.

John Constantine would beat you bloody with your keyboard for using such a stupid pairing name to refer to him and his best mate.

I should hope so. Pairing names in general are bad-wrong-bad, IMO, and that particular one is pathetic. I want a virgule in my slash, dammit.

I mean, the movie Constantine was actually much, much better than I expected an adaptation of Hellblazer starring Keanu Reeves to be

Agreed. Also, have you seen the DVD extras? There's an alternate ending which, to me, is much more satisfying that the one in the theatrical release. The theatrical release pretty much 'forgot' about Chas once he was killed; there was no expression of loss or regret or anything like that on Constantine's part. The alternate ending has a final encounter between Chas and John.

Re: In which I am opinionated

[elspethdixon.livejournal.com]

I don't so much want to see someone "fix" anything as I do want to read casefile-style fic and hot John/anyone pr0n -- the sort of "canon is awesome; now I want more stuff just like it, but with sex in" reaction.

I've actually never seen the DVD at all -- I only saw it in the theaters, where I was amazed to find that the movie I'd gone to basically for the purpose of mocking it was actually pretty good.

Re: In which I am opinionated

[velithya]

If you're speaking of the part where John is at the graveyard, that was in the theatrical release, just right at the end of the credits.

Re: In which I am opinionated

[elspethdixon.livejournal.com]

At that point, the group I'd gone to see the movie with had already left the theater, all of us saying things like "Oh my God, it was actually good. I mean actually really good despite being nothing whatsoever like the comic," to each other.

Re: In which I am opinionated

[velithya]

I can tell you what happened to the best of my recollection, if you like.