Have partially recovered from grief-stricken trauma, still avoiding rest of internet.

[elspethdixon]

I got no Freedman's Bank research done today, but I needed today to heal/recover from yesterday.

I'm really glad that I'd already signed up for the campus blood drive today and signed up to write the WWII propaganda paper and lead the discussion in class today. Donating blood felt like just the right way to honor Steve's memory, and choosing the comics covers and ads to print out for class and baking a red velvet cake (presenters have to bring food) and icing it to look like Cap's shield were, well, kind of my own personal wake. (I totally listened to appropriate music selections and everything).

What's kind of ironic is that I'd already planned to bake said cake weeks ago, when I signed up for the presentation slot. I just hadn't intended it to be a memorial.

No one else in my class recognized the shield cake, though they got that it was patriotic, at least, but baking it and decorating it and serving it fulfilled some kind of weird need anyway.

Comments

[htbthomas.livejournal.com]

I thought of you when I heard the news about Cap. Poor thing. :(

Was the cake yummy? I am now hungry for cake. :)

[elspethdixon.livejournal.com]

Very yummy, but filled with enough red dye to turn your tongue bright red (red velvet cake = german chocolate cake with lots of red food coloring in it, and of course, the two red stripes in the icing took more red food coloring).

I thought HP fandom had burned the ability to be this intensely emotionally affected by the fate of a fictional character out of me, but apparently not, because this, weirdly, goes deeper. With Sirius Black, I had the excuse of having spent two years of intense fannish participation in Sirius/Remus fandom, and reading hundreds of fics about him/them, but I was mostly angry at and disgusted with Rowling rather than actually grief-stricken (and OotP completely soured me on the series).

With Steve... there's next to no fic and I've never seriously participated in Marvel fandom (no RPing, no message boards, just much reading of canon) and yet I honestly feel as if an actual person I know has died. Which is utterly ridiculous, but *shrugs* maybe it's because Marvel feels so much more like a fully realized world than HP-verse.