For those on my flist who may need some cheering up...

[elspethdixon]

...and any who are worried about the quality of their own writing. Take heart! At least you're not this author
*points at link*
http://vandonovan.livejournal.com/1088311.html

Worst piece of prose I have ever seen. Ever.

This is worse than the chicken that was not a chicken. Worse than the venom cock (heyo!). Worse than Laurell K. Hamilton's endless descriptions of Merry Gentry's hair (which I actually kind of like. Shut up).

And I quote:
"Her teeth were her only bracelet; she carried them within the red velvet purse of her lips. Her tongue was amber. Her tongue was a ferret, an anenome, a fox caught in the teeth of a tiger."

It goes on like this for two pages.

Her toes are snails, people! Snails with shells made of tears!

Comments

[sodzilla.livejournal.com]

Damn right! If I could write like that, I'd never have to worry about winning online arguments any more because I could just stun and blind my opponents with purple prose. And the field of literary criticism being what it is, I'd probably be declared a genius for it...

[simmysim.livejournal.com]

EXACTLY I can think of several people I've debated with in the past that I would love to bestow this feeling of confusion and pain to.