elspethdixon: (Default)
elspethdixon ([personal profile] elspethdixon) wrote2009-03-19 09:37 pm

For those on my flist who may need some cheering up...

...and any who are worried about the quality of their own writing. Take heart! At least you're not this author
*points at link*
http://vandonovan.livejournal.com/1088311.html

Worst piece of prose I have ever seen. Ever.

This is worse than the chicken that was not a chicken. Worse than the venom cock (heyo!). Worse than Laurell K. Hamilton's endless descriptions of Merry Gentry's hair (which I actually kind of like. Shut up).

And I quote:
"Her teeth were her only bracelet; she carried them within the red velvet purse of her lips. Her tongue was amber. Her tongue was a ferret, an anenome, a fox caught in the teeth of a tiger."

It goes on like this for two pages.

Her toes are snails, people! Snails with shells made of tears!

[identity profile] elspethdixon.livejournal.com 2009-03-20 02:11 am (UTC)(link)
It's not fanfic! It's an actual published novel!

[identity profile] hippediva.livejournal.com 2009-03-20 04:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Makes you feel sorry for all those poor trees that died, doesn't it?

And the publishing industry wonders why they have absolutely no credence anymore???!

[identity profile] hippediva.livejournal.com 2009-03-20 05:21 pm (UTC)(link)
On second thought, since [livejournal.com profile] elessil and I are hard at work on a new Sparrington adventure, you've given me a GREAT idea. *chortles* Bad novels are ALWAYS such fun....*wink* More of that anon...