ext_141311 ([identity profile] fire-tears.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] elspethdixon 2009-03-12 06:58 pm (UTC)

I love this. I really like your Don voice, and I sympathize with your uncertainly over who the hell Don/Thor really is. I've never been able to figure it out with any degree of certainty, and current canon confuses me even more. Apparently they were different people, but when Thor was sent to Midgard he was both himself and Don Blake at the same time, because the real Donald Blake's consciousness was in some kind of other dimension (having been ousted by Thor's), and Thor's mind was sent there when Don's consciousness returned to his own body, but now they're apparently one person again except not, and what.

Don's voice in this felt right, though, so I count your effort as an unquestioned success.

And ahaha, Doctor Strange. He was such an asshole, and even through the little glimpses we got of him through Don's memories, he was perfect. That part of his character was made to be hated. I loved being able to see pre-awesome Doctor Strange, back when he was actually being a doctor and also being a pretty horrible person.

And Matt! D: Poor Matt. I loved his cameo, though, and Foggy's -- they were so sadly adorable. Strangely enough, it was Foggy whom I really wanted to hug.

The entirety of Fact #9 made me laugh, because as mature as some of the Avengers could be at times, they were also still practically kids, and I really felt for Don. :p The bit about the Asgard equivalent of a trio of nineteen-year-old frat boys induced giggling. Oh, Thor. I question the sanity of anyone who doesn't love you to at least some degree.

I also loved the comparison of Tony's almost-death (prepare yourself, Don: there will be many more to come) to Baldr's. Because the Avengers -- and Tony and Steve especially -- really are that important to Thor, mortal-status be damned. Of course, that also made me horribly sad thanks to current canon, because I'm seriously beginning to think that, true to the destroying-the-original-Avengers spirit Marvel currently has going on, they wouldn't write Thor as being overly upset if Tony died. I'm not saying he wouldn't care, but at the rate Marvel is going... Unless, of course, they've somehow reconciled since I decided to stop reading to save my sanity and preserve my emotional stability, but I don't think so. I thought you were supposed to forgive your family! D= Especially when there's, like, only three of you left.

I think the only thing that threw me off was the strikethrough of that line. It's personal preference, really, but having it in italics and parentheses seems to be the 'traditional' way to do it; probably because italics tends to be how writers signify a thought rather than dialogue or prose.

Half of him had been terrified that he was going to have to watch Tony die, watch as (he choked to death on his own blood, an arrow through his lung) Tony's heart stopped right in front of his eyes.


So, um, in short: I love this. So much. Your Classic-verse makes me happy in ways I can't describe. It's what Ultimates should have been when Marvel rebooted everything. Marvel needs to hire you (and [livejournal.com profile] seanchai), I swear. You two could start with RRR being put into comic form and go from there. It could be called The Arc In Which Writers Who Understand How Real People Act Are In Charge.

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