Fixed the "millions" (and the one place I'd transposed the i and e in "Leiter"). Whay exactly strikes you as off about that one sentence? "Bumped" and "bounced" in close proximity? How godawful perky Honey-Sue is being?

The "slave-time" in-joke isn't my fault, though. It's a schmoopy relationship-joke from the book, because Bond and Honey are both secretly huge dorks. also, Bond secretly gets off on being dominated, you know he does