elspethdixon: (Schu)
( Jul. 4th, 2015 03:17 pm)
Elspethdixon's Big Damn Fanfic List

Being an index to every piece of extant-on-the-web fic by Elspethdixon since her freshman year of college, including the clichéd badfic, the abandoned WiPs, the one that turned up on McTabby’s Summary Executions, and the one with the word “orbs” in it. From Harry Potter to Pirates of the Caribbean, and beyond. Hopefully, the quality improves as ones moves down the page.

Big Damn List )

Forward-dated to go at the top of my journal. Warnings are present in the headers on all multichapter fics. Warnings for ficlets will be provided upon request. All multichapter fics contain some degree of hurt/comfort.
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elspethdixon: (Default)
( Apr. 7th, 2014 01:44 am)
AO3 has a section for "NASA RPF" - now I know the screaming horror people who actually know actors/musicians IRL must feel.
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Apr. 5th, 2014 01:35 am)
So, Porthos is basically this show’s Iron Woobie, y/y?

Also, how much do I love that they use his canon last name? (We’re not even going to talk about the shooting-the-melon-of-gay-off-Aramis’s-head scene ♥ except to say that Athos’s total lack of reaction to it while d’Artagnan boggles was somehow the best part)
Me and Seanchai, discussing our current fic:

Me: "You know this fic is going to have to have more sex scenes in it than everything we've ever written combined?"
Seanchai: *groans* "I know."
Me: "But at least they're all non-con, which should make it easier."
Seanchai: "Oh, thank God I wasn't the only one thinking that."
Me: "Because that way it's just the hurt part of hurt/comfort instead of actual sex, so we don't have to try and make it sexy and it won't be nearly as embarrassing to write, and I'm probably going to go to hell for thinking that."
Seanchai: "No, no, I was thinking the exact same thing. It will be so much easier to write than real sex."

*headdesk* What have you done to me, fandom?
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Mar. 24th, 2014 11:32 am)
Spoilers for later Musketeers episode have me torn between "Ha, yes, confirmation that The Vicomte de Bragelonne/Man in the Iron Mask never happens in this universe! Suck it, depressing canon ending!" and fridge-horror internal cringing at the prospect that they might.

(But what if they did? What if they did and it was his own kid all those years later?*)



*The painful thing is that, much as I love him, I can see him knowing that and yet still coming up with the whole plan like a good evil Jesuit who thinks he's acting in France's best interests. Sorry, spawn 1 and spawn 2, but that's how tragic 19th century novel figures who become the thing they used to hate roll.
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Mar. 24th, 2014 02:14 am)
I figured out how to blacklist the pairing names of every ship that conflicts with my OTPs! Now my dash is happy again ^_^

Now if only I could figure out how to use one of those search-replace extension things to turn all the smoosh-names for said OTPs into “Character Name/Character Name” so that I never had to see the words “Stony,” “Enjoltaire,” or “Portamis” ever again, it would truly be perfect.

(I am a bad fangirl who means "One True Pairing" literally, in the sense of "these characters can only ever be paired with each other and never, ever with anyone else, and in any universe, any version of canon, or any fic, if you ever pair Legolas and Gimli* with someone other than one another you are bad and wrong and will probably go to hell")


*Or any of a variety of other pairings, but I'm willing to allow that people who ship Tony/Loki or Steve/Bucky or Tony/Pepper or Enjonine or who headcanon Enjolras as aro-ace might possibly only go to Purgatory. Aragorn/Legolas shippers go straight to Dante's 10th level of hell, where they will spend eternity alongside veg*ns who feed cats or dogs vegetarian diets and people who shush other people in the theater.
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Mar. 22nd, 2014 08:44 pm)
Wherein we meet Aramis's ex-boyfriend.

Give up, ex-boyfriend. Aramis doesn't need you anymore. He's found new, better boyfriends who would never run off and desert him* (and the entire rest of the regiment).

Also, Constance deserves some kind of sainthood for putting up with these idiots, and the carved wooden ceiling in the room where de Tréville and the Cardinal were arguing about Savoy is probably the sexiest thing in the entire episode. Even sexier than angsty disheveled Aramis or last episode's injured, shirtless Porthos.



*Seanchai has pointed out that they're never gonna give him up or let him down, either.
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Mar. 19th, 2014 09:17 pm)
Apparently, the shocking character death on Teen Wolf did not involve Stiles dying tragically after making out with and declaring his eternal love for Derek Hale.

This saddens me, because that would have been the most epic one-two punch of brilliant, brilliant wank fodder imaginable. The fall-out from the actual episode won't be nearly as much fun to read about in f-fa threads.

Just imagine it - Stiles expiring super-dramatically in Derek's arms, immediately after their dramatic kiss, much like in the movie Camille. Stiles would cough blood on Derek's face (an aesthetically pleasing little splatter that highlighted Hoechlin's cheekbone) before suddenly slumping over dead in Derek's embrace, and Derek would fall to his knees, still holding Stiles's body, and yell "Nooooo!" The scene would be shot from overhead, and it would be raining.

Scott fans would have to decide whether they were pleased that Stiles was no longer around to steal Scott's screen time, or angry that Sterek was canon. Sterek fans would have to decide whether they were pleased that Sterek was canon, or angry that Stiles was dead. Fans would tweet O'Brien's mother offering sympathy. Very Angry Scott Fans would write long blog posts full of grudgewank which would then inexplicably be linked on metanews.

It could have been beautiful.
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Mar. 11th, 2014 11:43 am)
Was a beautiful thing of shippy glory. Oh my God, Aramis, why don't you just stitch your initials into Porthos's shoulder and have done with it? (I'm not sure whether Aramis is reminding me more of Turk and JD from Scrubs, or Franken Stein from Soul Eater with the needlework thing, honestly)

Also, Capaldi's Cardinal is pretty close to my platonic ideal of Richelieu.
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Feb. 25th, 2014 09:19 pm)
We are approximately 5 minutes in the Musketeers pilot. Porthos is currently dueling a guy with a fork (Porthos has a fork. The guy has a sword, and is, I presume, about to lose humiliatingly).

Prior to the fork duel, there was an extended "Athos gets ready in the morning" clothing porn scene.

I'm officially sold.

(Porthos has goofy waxed moustaches and is showboating allover the place <3 <3 <3 I haven't seen Aramis yet, but since he's played by Santiago Cabrera he ought to be almost as pretty as he's supposed to be.)
I'm halfway through an otherwise interesting novel about an organized crime family that's about half interpersonal drama and half fighting-off-an-attempted-take-over gang warfare, and getting increasingly annoyed at how much repetitive het sex I have to skim over.

I swear to god, every twenty pages people are having raunchy PiV sex and It's. So. Pointless. And. Boring. Dear author: please go back to people backstabbing one another over shipments of heroin and lying to their siblings/spouses over dark family secrets. I care far, far more about the fact that the crime boss's son is plotting to overthrow his father than I do about said son banging sexy call girls in gratuitous detail. The one couple whose marriage is falling apart's sex scenes actually serve a purpose in the narrative. The call girls are just there so you can rack up more unnecessary porn content.

(Fanfic: not the only genre full of unnecessary sex scenes.)
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Feb. 14th, 2014 12:12 pm)
I can't believe NYC kept the public schools open yesterday (after declaring a state of emergency for the city because of the snowstorm - we got at least 8 inches of snow yesterday, followed by freezing rain and slush). If the roads are dangerous enough to declare a state of emergency and tell people to stay home, presumably they're dangerous enough to justify cancelling school.

Judging by the Daily Bugle New York Post and Daily News's front pages, I'm not alone in this opinion. (I particularly liked whichever one had a terrible-looking candid photo of the NYC schools chancellor getting into her privately chauffeured car with the headline "Let them eat flakes!" Truly, our city newspapers continue to uphold the proud tradition of J. Jonah Jameson's style of journalism)
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Feb. 3rd, 2014 03:35 pm)
f_fa is talking about the Black Jewels series again.

Watching people who have no prior experience with the OMGWTFBBQ that is those books get introduced to them is one of the recurring pleasures of fandom.

(Someone on the meme described Anne Bishop's aesthetic as "Lisa Frank sex dungeon." I am never going to stop laughing)

Why are there zillions of A/B/O AUs and yet no Black Jewels AUs?* There are so many elements of Bishop's cracked-out worldbuilding that would be either amazing or hilarious when applied to various canons. X-Men Black Jewels AUs where Phoenix=Witch and the various male X-Men are all Jean's harem first circle. Skyfall fandom AUs where MI6 are all female!M's court and Q is a young prince who's a natural black widow (OMG the only male one ever other than Damon Sadi, he's so special!) who gets drawn into a forbidden relationship with a Warlord Prince of Queen M's first circle. Etc. Etc.


*Other than that one SGA Weir/Ronon one I read once.
The name "valentine's day" can bring to mind but one thing - mafia violence.

Is anyone up for a (light-hearted) mob-themed movie night on the weekend of February 14th-16th?

Possible movie choices:
The Sting
Some Like it Hot
Dick Tracy
Harlem Nights
Oscar (obscure comedy of errors mob movie I swear is hilarious)
Kung Fu Hustle (okay, technically not the mafia, but still organized crime)
Bandits (okay, so they're bank robbers, not the mob, but who wants to be picky when there's a canonical threesome?)
The Man With the Iron Fists (not so much an organized crime film as a "WTF did I just watch I think it had kung fu street gangs in it but I can't see past the amazing Dragonball Z hairstyles long enough to tell?" film)

Or we could always can all those options and just watch that movie where Jet Li is a feral living weapon who's kept on a leash by his yakuza 'owner' that I still can't really believe is actually real.
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Jan. 7th, 2014 01:32 pm)
It is 6 degrees in Brooklyn Heights. Six. Degrees. (That's Fahrenheit, where 6 degrees = 26 degrees below freezing).

I'd say I wished I was back home in MD/VA, but it's apparently freakishly cold there, too.
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Dec. 25th, 2013 06:43 pm)
My sister taught our dad how to play Bejeweled yesterday.

He’s already beaten both of our highest scores as well as her boyfriend’s highest score.
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About ace!Enjolras…

I get why so many fans are invested in the idea of Enjolras being asexual/aromantic. While I somewhat doubt that Hugo intended that “his mistress is ‘patria’” line to be an indicator of asexuality/aromanticism in the way that some of the Classical allusions Hugo makes in reference to Grantaire are most likely meant indicate homosexuality, simply because the Victorians didn’t have a concept of aromantic aces in the same way that they did “Greek Love,” I also somewhat doubt that Tolkien actually intended Legolas and Gimli to get gay-married at the end of LotR, but will nevertheless argue until my dying breath that they totally, totally do and that said marriage is 100% supported-by-text canon whether Tolkien did it on purpose or not, so, you know, each to his own.

The thing I do wonder, however, is this: Why is Enjolras the only character fannish consensus has chosen to make asexual/aromantic? Why don't the middle-aged French virgins get any of the lack-of-love? )
… is Rick Remender’s theme song, sung to the tune of the Monitor Lizard’s “I’m gonna eat somebody” song from Fern Gully

I’ve had no access to the internet since going home for Thanksgiving on the 27th. I do not know who Remender killed last Wednesday, and I’m afraid to find out.

I hope it was one of the X-men characters, because they tend to come back from the dead faster and more often. (Maybe it was Rogue, but it will turn out that it was actually Mystique-disguised-as-Rogue and that’s why Remender’s Rogue was always vaguely OOC, and also that Mystique didn’t just fake being Rogue but also faked her death for ‘reasons’ and is really still alive. Preferably ‘reasons’ involving one of her periodic horribly failtastic attempts to actually be some kind of parental figure to Rogue - I love it when Mystique tries to be Rogue’s mom and ends up just being utterly creepy and invasive and horrible but in a totally well-meaning way.)
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Oct. 8th, 2013 02:12 pm)
There is a post on cap_ironman about con meet-ups if anyone is interested.

I'll be there Saturday and Sunday, possibly with Seanchai-in-Karkat-cosplay, possibly without.

Sadly, my brilliant Carol Danvers costume idea* is not going to materialize in time for this weekend (my sister won't be able to send me the stuff I need for it in time). Which means it's either my old Ms. Marvel costume, or, depending on how ambitious I feel and whether I can work it around the booth-sitting schedule** and figure out how to make the horns stay in place properly, my Gamzee Makara costume (quick "can't work the face/body paint" back-up plan: wear a green t-shirt and the horn headband and say I'm Andrew Hussie).

*One of Sarah's old flight suits + fake patches with Carol's name on them = comfortable, non-revealing fighter-pilot!Carol costume. Which can then be modified into a Hal Jordan costume or a Gate-verse SGC or SGA costume simply by changing the fake patches. I feel amazingly stupid for only thinking of this last week - my sister and I used to use our Dad's old spare ones for everything from Halloween costumes to home-made snowsuits.

**Once the non-water soluble body paint goes on, it's not coming off without a shower and copious amounts of rubbing alcohol - even skipping that part and just doing the facepaint with greasepaint means I'm committed to Gamzee-face for the rest of the day. And I'm not sitting at a booth dressed like the bastard love child of the DCU's Trickster and a Juggalo.
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