elspethdixon: (Schu)
( Jul. 4th, 2015 03:17 pm)
Elspethdixon's Big Damn Fanfic List

Being an index to every piece of extant-on-the-web fic by Elspethdixon since her freshman year of college, including the clichéd badfic, the abandoned WiPs, the one that turned up on McTabby’s Summary Executions, and the one with the word “orbs” in it. From Harry Potter to Pirates of the Caribbean, and beyond. Hopefully, the quality improves as ones moves down the page.

Big Damn List )

Forward-dated to go at the top of my journal. Warnings are present in the headers on all multichapter fics. Warnings for ficlets will be provided upon request. All multichapter fics contain some degree of hurt/comfort.
Tags:
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Jul. 22nd, 2014 11:33 am)
Why is so much 00Q fic so bad? Half the ones I try to read are all mushy and sappy and cutesy. James Bond does not do sappy and cutesy. Especially not Craig!Bond. Connery!Bond did groan-worthy one-liners, but he didn't do cutesy. Roger Moore!Bond did flirtatious and suave, but not sappy and cutesy.

It's because half of 00Q fandom have never watched a Bond movie other than Skyfall, isn't it? (You can tell by how the "Alec Trevelyan/006" they keep sticking in fic bears zero resemblance to the guy Sean Bean played in Goldeneye, sometimes to the point of being named "Alex Trevelyan" instead)

Also, why does Felix Leiter never show up? I know I'm biased by virtue of being a book fan who ships Bond/Felix, but come on, guys, he was in two of the three Craig bond movies. Throw me a bone here and give him a cameo once in a while.
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Jul. 15th, 2014 01:46 pm)
Once every couple of months I'll get a crushing, so-bad-it-literally makes-you-throw-up headache, usually centered in my forehead and temples. I wish I knew what caused them, so I could figure out how to avoid them (it's not caffeine withdrawal, not caused by my glasses prescription, not a sinus headache... possibly they're migraines?)

I also wish they didn't inevitably start at work, where "not continuing to spend the next few hours staring at an LCD computer screen" is not an option.
As long as hipsters are continuing their faux-Southern rural poverty chic thing (let's buy Ball & Mason jars specifically to drink Pabst Blue Ribbon out of!) and inexplicable obsession with bacon, why can't they become obsessed with Smithfield Ham so that I can finally buy decent dry-cured ham in NYC? "Country ham" is always cut too thickly, and prosciutto isn't cured the same way.

Come on, hipsters. It's got less cholesterol than bacon, yes, but it's so full of salt that you actually have to soak it in water for 24 hours before you can cook and eat it. So delicious! So unhealthy! So un-kosher!

Someday I will break down and just have it shipped to me from VA. If only you could order it in quantities smaller than '4 lbs of sliced meat' or 'one entire ham'.

(Other things people need to discover: just as Smithfield ham >>>> prosciutto, actual hominy grits >>>> polenta. Packaging/advertising often tells you they're the same thing, but they're not, anymore than plain/non-nixtamalized cornmeal is the same thing as masa.)
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Jun. 19th, 2014 06:36 pm)
young woman in a military flight suit posing with a live falcon perched on one wrist

My sister cosplays the lovechild of Carol Danvers and Sam Wilson.

(She's much prettier than me, btw. She's also 5'11", only a few inches shorter than Sam, so that bird really is about Redwing-sized.)
Tags:
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Jun. 19th, 2014 06:35 pm)
Ack, I forgot to post the discussions posts on not_brand_event yesterday! Con/vacations ruin my ability to tell time.
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Jun. 2nd, 2014 12:38 pm)
I wore a long skirt to church yesterday morning, something I almost never do, and when I came back home the Stevelet was both confused and mildly distressed by it.

Want rub ankles. Where ankles?! Very fabric. Much confusing. Wow.

(Then, of course, being our little ADD cat, he immediately forgot all about it the second something else caught his attention and everything was fine)
Tags:
Technically, d'Artagnan's name starts with a lowercase letter.

There follows a long explanation of why this is so under the cut, but the important thing to take away here is that unless it's at the beginning of a sentence, it supposed to be spelled d'Artagnan, not D'Artagnan.

(I'm sure that if you scoured my old book-based fics, you'd find at least one place where I slipped up and capitalized it, because the first law of pointing out spelling mistakes is that you'll make the same mistake or a similar one yourself while you're in the process of pointing that other person's error out, but trust me on this, the "d" is lowercase)

Let me explain at tl;dr length )
elspethdixon: (Default)
( May. 12th, 2014 11:55 am)
Signs you've been in fandom too long (or possibly that you use too many cutesy nicknames for your pets): You get an email from the vet about your cats and stare at the subject line for a long moment trying to figure out why the vet wants to talk about your OTP... until belatedly remembering that, oh, right, "Steve and Tony" are the cats' names.

Technically, anyway. We've been calling them Stevelet and the Fluffle for so long that those are pretty much their real names.

(Poor Stevelet - he had to get his teeth cleaned and one infected tooth pulled, and when he returned from the vet, the Fluffle spent about 24 hours utterly convinced that his beloved friend had been replaced by a Skrull.

Stevelet: I am HOME! I MISSED you, friend!
Fluffle: No, no, you is Skrull! I growl my tiny ineffectual growl.
Stevelet: Why you not happy for see me? LET ME LOVE YOU!
Fluffle: No, no, there is Skrull in my house. Must run and hide from Skrull.
Stevelet: ???
Fluffle: Okay, MAYBE you is not Skrull. Maybe. I is watching you.
Stevelet: ILU forever let me groom you.
Fluffle: Okay, fine, you is not Skrull. I will tentatively groom you back.
Stevelet: YAY!)
Tags:
Posting isn’t enabled yet, but the comm itself is here: http://not-brand-event.dreamwidth.org/

I was thinking Wednesday would be a good, traditional day for discussion posts. Would people prefer to read one issue each of all three comics every week, and pretend that’s what’s coming out now and not Original Sins, or have each discussion post be title-specific and for an entire story arc?
Tags:
elspethdixon: (GoneWithTheWind)
( Apr. 29th, 2014 05:13 pm)
If I set up a dreamwidth comm for doing a read-through of Iron Man/Avengers/Captain America volume 3 (Kurt Busiek! Mark Waid! the Living Armor! Rumiko!), with discussion posts for each story arc and stuff, would anyone be interested in participating?

For movie-only people: this era of comics has modern-style art and dialogue, but pre-date’s the “giant mega-crossovers you have to read ten different titles a month to understand” era. And features very good Sharon characterization, lots of Clint, a good ‘introduction to Ultron’ storyline, and That One Time Tony’s Armor Came to Life and Fell in Love with Him.

And if you would be interested, any suggestions for comm names? (“screw Events, let’s read backcanon” sadly has too many characters)

Currently being considered:

marvel_volume3
marvel_vol_three
lets_read_volume_3
marvel_backcanon
cap_iron_reread
Tags:
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Apr. 7th, 2014 01:44 am)
AO3 has a section for "NASA RPF" - now I know the screaming horror people who actually know actors/musicians IRL must feel.
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Apr. 5th, 2014 01:35 am)
So, Porthos is basically this show’s Iron Woobie, y/y?

Also, how much do I love that they use his canon last name? (We’re not even going to talk about the shooting-the-melon-of-gay-off-Aramis’s-head scene ♥ except to say that Athos’s total lack of reaction to it while d’Artagnan boggles was somehow the best part)
Me and Seanchai, discussing our current fic:

Me: "You know this fic is going to have to have more sex scenes in it than everything we've ever written combined?"
Seanchai: *groans* "I know."
Me: "But at least they're all non-con, which should make it easier."
Seanchai: "Oh, thank God I wasn't the only one thinking that."
Me: "Because that way it's just the hurt part of hurt/comfort instead of actual sex, so we don't have to try and make it sexy and it won't be nearly as embarrassing to write, and I'm probably going to go to hell for thinking that."
Seanchai: "No, no, I was thinking the exact same thing. It will be so much easier to write than real sex."

*headdesk* What have you done to me, fandom?
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Mar. 24th, 2014 11:32 am)
Spoilers for later Musketeers episode have me torn between "Ha, yes, confirmation that The Vicomte de Bragelonne/Man in the Iron Mask never happens in this universe! Suck it, depressing canon ending!" and fridge-horror internal cringing at the prospect that they might.

(But what if they did? What if they did and it was his own kid all those years later?*)



*The painful thing is that, much as I love him, I can see him knowing that and yet still coming up with the whole plan like a good evil Jesuit who thinks he's acting in France's best interests. Sorry, spawn 1 and spawn 2, but that's how tragic 19th century novel figures who become the thing they used to hate roll.
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Mar. 24th, 2014 02:14 am)
I figured out how to blacklist the pairing names of every ship that conflicts with my OTPs! Now my dash is happy again ^_^

Now if only I could figure out how to use one of those search-replace extension things to turn all the smoosh-names for said OTPs into “Character Name/Character Name” so that I never had to see the words “Stony,” “Enjoltaire,” or “Portamis” ever again, it would truly be perfect.

(I am a bad fangirl who means "One True Pairing" literally, in the sense of "these characters can only ever be paired with each other and never, ever with anyone else, and in any universe, any version of canon, or any fic, if you ever pair Legolas and Gimli* with someone other than one another you are bad and wrong and will probably go to hell")


*Or any of a variety of other pairings, but I'm willing to allow that people who ship Tony/Loki or Steve/Bucky or Tony/Pepper or Enjonine or who headcanon Enjolras as aro-ace might possibly only go to Purgatory. Aragorn/Legolas shippers go straight to Dante's 10th level of hell, where they will spend eternity alongside veg*ns who feed cats or dogs vegetarian diets and people who shush other people in the theater.
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Mar. 22nd, 2014 08:44 pm)
Wherein we meet Aramis's ex-boyfriend.

Give up, ex-boyfriend. Aramis doesn't need you anymore. He's found new, better boyfriends who would never run off and desert him* (and the entire rest of the regiment).

Also, Constance deserves some kind of sainthood for putting up with these idiots, and the carved wooden ceiling in the room where de Tréville and the Cardinal were arguing about Savoy is probably the sexiest thing in the entire episode. Even sexier than angsty disheveled Aramis or last episode's injured, shirtless Porthos.



*Seanchai has pointed out that they're never gonna give him up or let him down, either.
elspethdixon: (Default)
( Mar. 19th, 2014 09:17 pm)
Apparently, the shocking character death on Teen Wolf did not involve Stiles dying tragically after making out with and declaring his eternal love for Derek Hale.

This saddens me, because that would have been the most epic one-two punch of brilliant, brilliant wank fodder imaginable. The fall-out from the actual episode won't be nearly as much fun to read about in f-fa threads.

Just imagine it - Stiles expiring super-dramatically in Derek's arms, immediately after their dramatic kiss, much like in the movie Camille. Stiles would cough blood on Derek's face (an aesthetically pleasing little splatter that highlighted Hoechlin's cheekbone) before suddenly slumping over dead in Derek's embrace, and Derek would fall to his knees, still holding Stiles's body, and yell "Nooooo!" The scene would be shot from overhead, and it would be raining.

Scott fans would have to decide whether they were pleased that Stiles was no longer around to steal Scott's screen time, or angry that Sterek was canon. Sterek fans would have to decide whether they were pleased that Sterek was canon, or angry that Stiles was dead. Fans would tweet O'Brien's mother offering sympathy. Very Angry Scott Fans would write long blog posts full of grudgewank which would then inexplicably be linked on metanews.

It could have been beautiful.
.

Profile

elspethdixon: (Default)
elspethdixon

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags